Monday, May 4, 2020
Full free essay sample
ââ¬Å"We fill up space as if it were a pie shell, with things whose opacity further obstructs our ability to see what is already there.â⬠Author Gretel Ehrlich, The Solace of Open Spaces. When I first read those lines in my AP Language class last year, something resonated within me. As members of the human race we can all relate to what Mrs. Ehrlichââ¬â¢s words convey. We spend our entire lives filling up space with stuff, and why? Itââ¬â¢s our coping mechanism. We fill silence with noise, our free time with Facebook, and homes with junk. At seven years old, I had already begun filling up my life, and bodyââ¬âwith food. My parents separated and divorced when I was a little girl. I never understood why my parents couldnââ¬â¢t get along when I loved both of them so much, so, it had to be my fault. Those thoughts left unchallenged started tearing a hole inside me. We will write a custom essay sample on Full or any similar topic specifically for you Do Not WasteYour Time HIRE WRITER Only 13.90 / page What are we taught as children, and do we teach our children to do when thereââ¬â¢s a problem? Fix it. So I filled that hole. I tried to ââ¬Å"fixâ⬠me. I ate and ate until I would get sick. Not only sick to my stomach, but sick of who I was. I would constantly be hungry for something, anything to make the empty, sinking feeling in my gut go away. When youââ¬â¢re hungry, itââ¬â¢s because you need food, right? For some reason I was never able to make it go away, no matter how much I tried,or rather, ate. When my mom moved out and got an apartment, we went with her. That meant a new school and faces. It was the first time in my life I would be introduced to everyone by their own judgments as the fat girl, and even in second grade I knew how hard first impressions are hard to shake. Words like ââ¬Å"childhood obesity,â⬠and ââ¬Å"clinical depressionâ⬠meant nothing to me. All I knew was that I felt hungry, sad, and alone. I did eventually slim down a ton, but not from my own actions. I guess mother nature decided to grant me a metabolism. Now I realize that if it had been otherwise, I perhaps wouldnââ¬â¢t have found fulfillment and closure until much later. If I ââ¬Å"fixed myselfâ⬠with diet and exercise, it would have reinforced the idea that I was ââ¬Å"badâ⬠and needed fixing. Instead, my mom moved us from there to a new house. It was near a new school with new friends. The fresh start was just what I needed. The people here welcomed me right from the beginning. For the first time, I felt accepted and loved. I realized that the world isnââ¬â¢t about how you fix your problems. Thatââ¬â¢s assuming youââ¬â¢re bad or broken. It took a combination of time, a clean slate, and beautiful people for me to become well again. It was that love and acceptance my entire new community provided that took me from spiritually hungryâ⬠¦ to full.
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